I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My ATM looks so different sober.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
