he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
