If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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