you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
