Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
