I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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