Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
it glows. i had to have it.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
