i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
