drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
