every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
