Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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