I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Acid is not a monday night drug
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
