operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
PANTIES FOUND
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