I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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