she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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