what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
