Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
it was like eating out sand paper
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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