so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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