Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
how can u be prego again
I feel great
I just peed on a car
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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