If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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