he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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