i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
