I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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