you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
