honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
