his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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