My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
