you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
They took my balls.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
