If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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