$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Randomize
