careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
