is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
