my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
