Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
