when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
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