god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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