Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
