If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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