A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
ok first of all what the fuck
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