real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
