Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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