let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
