ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
