if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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