how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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