I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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