i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
