take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
