What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
