That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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