i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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